What is Good Communication?

I have always been fascinated by communication, whether in writing, public speaking, or conversation.

I was asked recently to teach a group of intelligent young bankers from Shanghai about communication in an English language business environment.

English is not their first language and so they make obvious mistakes in our language. I fully sympathize, since I understand perhaps a hundred words in Chinese. My daughter Jenny got her University major in Chinese and has gone to China for further language training, but still considers her skills quite inadequate, compared to native Chinese speakers.

So my teaching challenge was not to improve the English skills of my Chinese friends, which would have taken far too long. This was also unnecessary, since their command of English is already quite good for someone working in Asia. So I focused instead on what makes good communication, apart from expert language skills.

I thought of good and bad communicators I have known: for instance, there was Charlie, a Harvard graduate with a PhD. in economics who had an astounding vocabulary, but unfortunately was still a poor communicator. Then I remembered various immigrants and poorly educated business people who nonetheless became highly effective communicators despite their inadequate English.

After reflection, it became obvious that communication depends on something more fundamental than just language skills. Good communication requires a certain attitude, a willingness to share our inner thoughts and emotions, and to reveal who we truly are beneath our external appearance.

I wrote a previous blog on June 28, 2007 on Social Skills and Relationship Skills, which touched on some of these issues. I said building good relationships – whether in business or in our personal lives – does not depend primarily on charm and dazzling conversation, but rather on integrity, sincerity, empathic listening, and consciously nurturing important relationships.

Communication needs risk-taking, vulnerability, and passion. It requires reaching out to a person, or a whole group, to develop a closer relationship of trust.

Communication should normally be enjoyable to both the speaker and to the listeners. Humour and stories help this.

Good communication requires careful choice of the words we use and also attention to the response that we are receiving. It must be interactive, not a one-sided monologue. We should be brief and concise.

Communication becomes alive when we act out our thoughts and feelings in a spontaneous natural fashion. A formal speaking style inhibits this.

Communicating to a larger audience requires reflection and preparation so that we can get our points across without wasting time. A speech or essay needs a central thesis which is clearly stated with supporting facts, arguments and illustration. These should lead the audience to a reasonable, yet important conclusion. Making things plain, simple and understandable enables success.

Speech and conversation involve our whole person, especially face and eyes. Looking at our audience and trying to interpret their response is essential.

Body posture is also influential. Erect, confident posture inspires a positive reaction. Defensive posture and not looking at our audience detract immeasurably from our message.

I am still struggling with how to communicate better, especially in writing, where live interaction with readers is difficult. Some of you send brief notes with encouragement, criticism or questions, but mostly I write in sort of a vacuum. Meeting with people in person is more satisfying.

However, writing is the best way to communicate important ideas across both space and time. Despite the constant struggle, it is my most creative endeavour.